Episode 89

Sharing your personal life on your podcast with Kat John

Published on: 29th February, 2024

Have you ever experienced a vulnerability hangover? That sick feeling in your gut after you’ve shared something really personal. You feel exposed and wish you could take it all back.

A lot of experts in the marketing and social media space talk about the importance of being authentic with your audience. People want to see and know the real you. They want to hear what’s going on in your actual life so they can relate to you as a person, not just be fed the same old filtered nonsense. 

But how much of your personal life should you share on your podcast? 

And when does being authentic cross over into oversharing?


Someone who lives and breathes authenticity is Kat John, host of the popular podcast, Real Raw Relatable. Kat has a highly engaged audience on Instagram and her podcast has garnered a reputation for its vulnerable and relatable content. Her listeners lap it up.


I recently caught up with Kat to talk about her approach to sharing her personal life on her podcast. Considering Kat’s willingness to be vulnerable, I was really interested to hear how she navigates the boundaries between authenticity and privacy.




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Transcript
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Today we are chatting with Kat John who

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has a podcast called Real Raw Relatable.

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Kat is an authenticity coach.

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She has an extremely engaged audience on

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Instagram as well as a podcast that is

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very well received and highly regarded.

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I invited Kat on today because I thought

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it would be an interesting one to talk to

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someone that really gives what you think

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is like everything away on her podcast.

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She's extremely vulnerable.

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She shares from what's going

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on with her life at that time.

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They are very much personal

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journals, but they're also there

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to serve you as the listener.

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It's really coming

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from a place of giving.

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You can connect with her really

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easily because she is so authentic.

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And so I felt like I wanted to chat

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to her about how she does that.

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on a podcast, like how, especially

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when there's no one there on the

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other side, she also often has

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her partner Steve on the show.

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And I wanted to chat to her about

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boundaries because she is an authenticity

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coach and she is so relatable and raw.

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How much is left like behind the scenes?

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How much do you give

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versus keep for yourself?

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So I think you'll find this one

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really interesting from a podcast

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perspective because of that.

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If you're someone that likes to share

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or you feel like you don't share enough,

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but you still want a boundary there.

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Have a listen to this one.

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Cat is a wealth of knowledge and is

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also just a wonderful human being.

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Thank you so much for

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joining me here today.

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I went and had a listen back at

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your first episode, which was

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released on the 25th of June, 2019.

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It was called Pain to Power.

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Most of the time when I go back and

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listen to the first episode of any

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podcast, it's a bit of a cringe.

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You just start out and

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you kind of suck, right?

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Like, and that's fine,

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you're supposed to.

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But your first episode, I was

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like, Kat already sounds amazing.

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She already sounds like she's

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been podcasting for years.

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So hats off to you to begin with there.

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You actually did a really

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good first episode.

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Oh, thank you.

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That

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was not what was happening

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in the background.

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I tell you what, but I'm glad it's,

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I'm glad it came across that way.

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It was pretty good.

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I wanted to know why you decided

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that podcasting was something

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that you felt called to do.

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You really wanted to have one

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at that time for some time before that

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a part of the work that I practice is

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I have these true end results that I.

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I have very much at the forefront of my

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mind, and I guess I make the little steps

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along the way to fulfill that end result.

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And one of my end results was to share

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my heart's message on the world stage.

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I do this little process where I

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tap in, tune in, and then receive

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guidance as to what my next best

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step is in order to share my

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heart's message on the world stage.

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I guess at that point I had my

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Instagram platform and I had done

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some speaking gigs before that.

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ran facilitation circles, et cetera.

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But when I was in this little

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practice, the next best step

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was actually pretty gnarly.

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It actually, you know, I

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saw it visually in my head.

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It said podcast and it actually said

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the three words real, raw, relatable.

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I thought, Oh gosh, no, not a podcast.

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So I actually, it wasn't on my radar.

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But I was, depending upon what

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kind of believer you are in the

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world, I was called to do it.

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I thought, okay, well, if this is

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my next best step, then off we go.

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That was tricky trying to like

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actually show up to a mic.

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And speak, what am I

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going to speak about?

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What the hell is my message?

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That's the first thing that pushed

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me slash called me to do the podcast.

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That's, you know, really funny

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that I look at this now for you

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when you think like, what the

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hell am I going to speak about?

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You're now 239 episodes in,

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and most of them are solo.

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Actually, that's

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something that I think is.

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It's hard to do.

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How do you not repeat yourself?

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Do you have some sort of plan

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when you go to record episodes?

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Maybe you do repeat yourself.

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How do these actual episodes come into

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your brain that you want to talk about?

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In the beginning, I sort of had it

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mapped out as to like the first 10

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episodes that I wanted to talk about.

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The first thing with the name of

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my podcast being called Real Raw

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Relatable, it's real guidance,

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raw truths, and relatable stories.

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So that already just gives me

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free reign to really share my

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life and to share what's going

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on and all that kind of jazz.

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So in the beginning, I had

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10 episodes written down.

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I'm like, cool, I'll talk to those areas

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that I feel comfortable talking into.

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I've got lived experience.

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I can share real guidance, raw

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truths and relatable stories.

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And then what I noticed is like, for

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example, I'll use like COVID as an

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example, or when Black Lives Matter

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came about, I noticed that when I

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had pre set topics to talk about, and

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if I had already pre recorded them,

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for me, I noticed that I didn't feel

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comfortable when say big worldly

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things were taking place, like when

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the bushfires were taking place.

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And then let's say I had a podcast

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sharing about, X, Y, or whatever it may

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be, especially if I felt called to speak

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to what might be going on in the world

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and how my viewpoints could aid another

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human being listening to the podcast.

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So after that sort of realization,

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really what I do to this day is.

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I show up to my podcast recording

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area, no different to how I did

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way back when, you know, of how

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to tap into my next best step.

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I just, I close my eyes and I get

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quiet and I'll ask myself, what

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truth do I want to share today?

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There'll always be a different topic.

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So sometimes it might be super

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relevant in my life right now.

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And I feel comfortable to talk about it.

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It might still be super

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relevant in my life right now.

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But I can only share parts of it, or it

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might be something way from the past.

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I'm like, you know what?

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I haven't actually spoken about

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that angle of that particular topic.

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But what I'd say is the topics that

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I talk about, they're the parts that

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vary, but the underlying message and

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work and offerings to my listeners,

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that primarily stays the same, which I

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think is important because when it comes

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to foundational work to offer people.

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When there's foundational work, no

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matter what's going on in your life,

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relationship stuff, financial stuff,

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whatever it may be, if you can offer.

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Something foundational and concrete,

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it builds trust within, at least for

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my listeners that, okay, cool, no

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matter what's going on, I can apply

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this or that, or whatever Kat's

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offering and it just might work.

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Yeah, and then when you speak

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further to that, because

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there's so much vulnerability.

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In what you share, there's so

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much of your actual, like, life,

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what's going on for you, what's

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going on with your partner, and

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things that are going on, obviously

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you can talk about these things.

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Is there stuff that you still feel

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like is yours, that you don't share?

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There's definitely some areas where,

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for example, I'm a stepparent, or bonus

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parent, as the new terminology is saying.

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If I talk about that, I will talk about

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my experience with being a stepparent.

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My boundary is I won't go into the

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detail of the girls, or their mum,

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or Steve and their mum, because I

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don't have permission to do that.

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And that's not my story to tell, but I

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know that there are many bonus parents

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out there who are struggling and I'm one

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of them, but with being an authenticity

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coach and someone who really stands for

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authenticity, to me, being authentic is

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the willingness to be real and honest.

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I am willing to be real and honest.

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And to certain degrees, I

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I'll take you all the way in.

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And then there are other areas

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where I have to leave it.

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Just not quite superficial, but not

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as deep as where I could take it.

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So there are definite areas

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where there are boundaries.

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There are some topics like

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Steve comes on once a month.

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There are some topics that I

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would love to talk about, and he

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just doesn't feel comfortable.

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And I'm like, okay, I

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have to respect that.

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Maybe he will be happy to

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talk about that one day.

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Maybe he won't.

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But there's two of us in this on

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those particular episodes, so there's

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definitely stuff that's still mine.

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Yeah.

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And I think that's really

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important because depending on

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the type of podcast you have,

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it can be really like a journal.

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Really cathartic for the person,

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like the host as well, just

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delivering that information

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and getting it out of yourself.

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There's something about voicing your

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thoughts that's really powerful.

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And I really think that

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it's a testament to you.

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The fact that you can be vulnerable

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and share, but then also hold some

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things back for yourself, but share

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enough that people really feel

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like they know you, they connect

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with you, and they can understand,

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and it keeps them coming back.

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I think for anyone that has a podcaster

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who is looking to start one, I would

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absolutely recommend that you listen

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to Kat's show to hear how she delivers.

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Especially the solo content

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in the way that she shares

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the phrasing, the pausing, the

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invitation to reflect yourself as

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well as you're listening to it.

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These are all really

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valuable tools in podcasting.

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What don't you like about?

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doing a podcast.

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In the beginning, what I didn't like

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is that I didn't know what I was doing.

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I struggled with comparing

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myself to others.

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And I would say even up until this

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day, what I don't like about podcasting

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is really my own thoughts that I have

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about podcasting, if that makes sense.

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Like, Oh, is anyone listening to this?

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Does anyone still care?

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Does anyone care about real guidance

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for all true relatable stories?

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To be honest, now that it's, yeah, well,

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four years in, I actually totally didn't

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even realize it was four years in.

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Everything feels very comfortable and

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natural, so that's a nice feeling.

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But yeah, I'd say more than anything,

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it's the thoughts that I at times have

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when it comes to doubting my podcast,

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but then it's very quickly changed

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when I see people's messages and DMs

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and emails sharing how it's, it's

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helped them serve them, change them.

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So yeah, that's what it is for me.

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I think it's the nature of this medium

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because it's not like other things where

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you can post something on Instagram and

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then you get comments straight away.

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Or if you have YouTube, you get

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comments, you get feedback, people

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can respond to things even on.

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Spotify and things these days,

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you've got polls and you've got ways

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that people can connect with you

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and Twitter and all these things.

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Podcasting is another

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form of social media.

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Really, it is.

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It's actually a way more connected

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version of social media because your

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whole audience has the opportunity

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to see, to hear what you've delivered

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without an algorithm barrier to it.

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So it's actually the most connected.

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But.

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In a lot of ways, the

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disconnect is huge as well.

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You don't get the instant feedback.

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You don't get the hit of dopamine.

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And again, that's

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something I really like.

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I'm getting goosebumps thinking

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about that because I love that

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you don't, because it makes you.

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Think about it for yourself.

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More so than going outward

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and being like, I wonder what

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my audience thinks of this.

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You don't have that.

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You just deliver the content

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and see what happens.

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And you can see the download numbers and

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you can see how they've grown over time.

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And if you've had a podcast for a

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while and you're feeling a bit dejected

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or you've got these thoughts in your

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head like, Was anyone still listening

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or yeah, who are you doing it for?

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Are you doing it for them?

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Exactly.

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There's a few podcasts that I've

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done in the past where if they go

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down into the show notes, then they

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can access a particular meditation.

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And it's like years ago and just

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this morning I'm getting emails of

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people requesting that meditation.

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I'm like, Oh, I forget that people

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aren't just listening live and

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every week, like people will

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come in at very different times.

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When I receive emails, you know,

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those notifications, I'm like, ha.

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Okay.

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It reminds me to respect this medium

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more than what we just talked about, the

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Instagram type, which is, you know, post

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comment, post comment, post comments,

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like, oh, it can be a slow burn.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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And when we look at other shows that

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are really taking off at the moment,

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like Diary of a CEO and Alex Hormozy

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and shows that are quite large now, when

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you actually go back and you look at

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how many years those people have been

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doing these shows, it's like six years.

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Yeah.

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Before it gets any anywhere.

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It's so true.

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I mean, that's the same as

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my social media platforms.

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Nine years I've been in my business

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and it's, it was only last year,

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not only, but last year where it.

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phenomenally grew.

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Well, you know, we're always like, I

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want this many downloads because that's

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how many downloads it says to have.

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And I think that that's one of the

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toughest things, whether you start

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your podcast or whatever it may be

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that you start, it's those thoughts

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that come along with that, that say,

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Oh, well, that's not good enough.

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That didn't get enough downloads.

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You didn't get a review.

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You didn't get a rating.

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You didn't get this.

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You didn't get that.

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So then, yeah, you might quit

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prematurely, but like you just.

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said, you know, six years, eight years,

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they might have had that show and just

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kept plugging away and, and you're right.

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You do it for you and you do it for

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the message, not for the accolade.

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The more you do it, as long as

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it's quality, it eventually gets

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to a place where you want it to go.

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And it's like any creative

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pursuit where it really has to

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be about you wanting to do it.

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Above all else, because if you stick

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at anything for long enough, then it

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becomes all your wildest dreams come

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true, you know, so that's awesome.

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For anyone who doesn't know,

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Steve is Kat's partner and you now

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have Steve on the show regularly.

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Was that a conversation you had with him?

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Was he like keen to do it?

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Did he come to you?

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Like, how did that actually come

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to fruition where you felt like I

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want to have him on more regularly?

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Yeah, it actually started

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from a few of my friends.

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So there's a few friends that, one,

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are in blended families, but also

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two that are just in relationships.

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And I would often share how

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Steve and I approach things.

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And there have also been times where

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Steve has been on the podcast and

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people have often written in afterwards

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to say, thank you, even just hearing

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the way you two speak and your dynamic

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and his perspective versus your

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perspective, they really enjoyed it.

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A few of my friends in my circle

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were like, I would love to hear

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more of you and Steve together, in

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some way, shape or form, like maybe

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you could start your own program.

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Maybe you could run a course together.

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And I wasn't sort of really feeling

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that I'm like, I don't want to

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just start a relationship course.

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It didn't feel right for me.

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But I do know because Steve and I used

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to facilitate some courses together,

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people loved our dynamic and he has a lot

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to share and he has quite a lot to say.

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And like I said, we have

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like a pretty cool dynamic.

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He and I are brutally, beautifully

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honest with one another and

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we really know how to clear.

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our shit very well and we've learned

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how to hold space for one another.

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So yeah, it was one of my friends.

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She just said, why don't you have

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him on the podcast like once a

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month or, and just see how it

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goes and see what that turns into.

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I thought that's actually not a bad idea.

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I didn't feel any resistance to that.

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And so I shared that with

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Steve and he's like, hell yeah,

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I'm totally down for that.

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And yeah, we, since we've started

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to do it, the amount of people that

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might just stop me in the street

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or say like that podcast between

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you and Steve that really helped.

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And it's no different.

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We don't have it all planned out.

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We just look at areas of our life

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that we have nailed or are nailing.

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And we look at the process

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that we've used to.

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Help us nail slash continue to nail

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it, but where we were before and what

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led us to needing to find a new way.

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And they're really popular episodes.

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They definitely create

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an impact for people.

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So it was again, organic,

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organic, wow.

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And so when you look back now on this

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journey, since June 2019, how do you

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feel like you've changed or how do you

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feel like the podcast has helped you

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personally, but also professionally?

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In terms of personally, it's that

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first episode I recorded nine times.

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I would get like seven minutes

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in and then I'd listen back

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and I'm like, nah, delete.

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Do it again.

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Seven minutes in.

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I'm like, nah, delete.

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And then after the ninth one, I was

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like, Kat, John, if you hit delete one

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more time, I'm going to delete you.

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I was so mad at myself.

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I was like, how on earth am I ever,

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ever, ever, ever going to do this

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fricking podcasting stuff if I'm just

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going to keep recording and deleting.

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So it helped me find my voice even

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more and own my voice even more.

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And that this is the way that I like to

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do things and this is my lane and cool.

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I can look to see what other

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people might do and be like, Oh,

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that's actually a great idea.

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Maybe I might introduce that or just.

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respect someone for doing it

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the way they were doing it.

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And I'm like, you know what,

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this is just what feels right

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and good and true for me.

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So personally, it helped me own my lane

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and yet get very comfortable in my voice.

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So it's like, all right, cool.

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What's my message?

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How am I going to deliver this?

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How can I, like what you said,

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offer a piece of guidance to them

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at the end for them to ponder about?

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So it helped me get very

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succinct with how to deliver

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a message to professionally.

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It really did amplify

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quite a lot, I guess.

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Like I said, I want to share my

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heart's message on the world stage.

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And more and more people started

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to then come into my coaching.

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It became an introduction.

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So if they saw me on Instagram and

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they're like, I like her vibe, then

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they would come into my podcast.

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They'd be like, Oh, wow.

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She's.

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She's actually got some real depth

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here and that would then help them

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feel comfortable with knowing what

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I'm about, how I process things,

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which would then make it much easier

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for them to book in for coaching.

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It all kind of clicked in, like the Zero

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Fucks Dance movement on Tuesdays, again,

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it would lead them into the podcast,

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but also too, like, I mean, just this

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year, there's been an LA TV producer who

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has reached out, who has listened to my

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podcast for two years, who's worked with

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Oprah, who's worked with Jada Pickett

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Smith and has said, I want to talk to you

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about creating a show, like a TV show.

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And I'm like, huh?

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And she's been listening to the

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podcast, you know, so a lot of cool

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things have definitely come about.

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My book deal with Penguin, again,

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they'd be watching on Instagram.

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They came onto the podcast and when

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they reached out, they're just like.

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If you can write how you speak, let's

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rock and roll in terms of coaching.

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It's been amazing in terms of like

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really quite big opportunities.

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It's also been amazing.

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So I never know who's listening.

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That's so cool.

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Again, you wouldn't have thought

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that when you started your show,

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you just started because you felt

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like you wanted to do a podcast.

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And then because it's vulnerable, it's

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real, it's authentic, it sounds good.

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You think about what you want to

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deliver, the content that you want to

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deliver, and you have quality content.

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People just recognize that.

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You can talk until

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you're blue in the face.

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And you can waffle and whatever.

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That's not quality content.

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So, what Kat said there was really

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important for you to take away.

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What's the message?

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And if I'm going to talk on something

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for 20 minutes by myself, how am

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I delivering that in a way that

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people aren't going to turn it off?

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Because that's something that

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Kat is extremely good at.

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So nice work Kat.

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Okay.

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I have one last question for you.

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What's your favorite podcast

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to listen to at the moment?

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Ooh, I'm listening to

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Michael Singer's podcast.

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He wrote the book, The Untethered Soul,

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and I don't think it's an active podcast.

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I'm pretty sure they are recordings of

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his teachings to particular students.

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There's three seasons so far.

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I'm just simply loving one, his message.

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And again, so if you, if you listen

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to that, his message is the same.

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His delivery is amazing.

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Hilarious, but then it's like very

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similar to what you're talking about.

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He's hilarious.

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He goes light, he goes

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dark and he goes deep.

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And it leaves you just like, Oh, cool.

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I didn't even have time

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to write notes down.

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Cause I'm just absorbing it all in.

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So, that's my favorite

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podcast at the moment.

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Wow.

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I'll have to go and check it out.

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And we'll put a link to that

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in the show notes for people.

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We'll put the links in

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everything to do with Kat.

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We'll be there.

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Easy for you to go and review,

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listen to, engage with Kat.

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I have had such a good time

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exploring Cat's podcast.

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Kat, thank you so much

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for joining us today.

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I really hope that you podcasters

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out there or one of you podcasters

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go and engage with some content

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here and feel better about just

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getting out there and doing it.

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Thank you.

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About the Podcast

Pump Up Your Pod
Every entrepreneur by now has probably been told that having a podcast is great for business. But why is it so good? How do you actually grow your show and reach your target audience? There are a lot of questions and I'm here to answer them.I’ll be sharing tips, providing training, answering your questions down to the nitty-gritty stuff and generally supporting you to help you pump up your podcast and have fun doing it. When you do it right, your business, your personal brand and your reach is only ever going to expand. What’s not to love about that?
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About your host

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Brianna Ansaldo

Brianna is the Head Honcho of Bamby Media and founder of this whole jazzy business of fun times. She is an award-winning songwriter, audio producer, musician and all-round doofus. With a Bachelor’s Degree in Audio Production from the Queensland Conservatorium of Music, Brianna loves the techy side above all else.

Equal parts silly and brutally honest, she’s a force to be reckoned with. If something isn’t working, she will tell you straight up. No messing around. Deliver on your promises and provide quality above all else.